One Minute Melee: Mario vs. Sans

ONE MINUTE MELEE!

WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN 60 SECONDS!

TWO FIGHTERS!

NO RESEARCH!

MELEE!

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Bowser's Castle

Mario had jumped over all of the lava and taken out all of the minions. Now, all that was left was Bowser himself. He stepped into the infamous room he had been in many times before and there it was: The lava pit below, the bridge hovering over it, the axe and the chain connecting the bridge and keeping it from falling.

However, Mario noticed something strange. Instead of Bowser walking out of the shadows, it was a short skeleton with a jacket

"Where is-a-" Before Mario could finish, the skeleton spoke.

"oh, hey. i've heard of you before. your that "mario" guy, right?" The skeleton asked. In response, the Plumber nodded his head.

"well, at least i was correct. my name is sans. you're probably wondering where that turtle guy is right about now. hes out of town with some guys named ganondorf, dedede and ridley. by the way, the way you came in was very rude..." Sans said. Mario raised a brow. "What did I-a do?"

"you forgot... to bow, sir." 

Suddenly, a rim shot echoed around Mario's ears, confusing him a bit.

Sans shrugged and opened one eye, staring at Mario while saying, "so, you might be wondering why i'm here. well, i've seen what you've done in these parts-"

"I-a don't have time for this!" Mario said, walking forward- 

Suddenly, Sans motioned his hand forward, causing Mario to be pushed back by some... psychic force. The plumber got up. It wouldn't be the first time he fought a psychic...

"well, see, i can't let you pass. after what i've seen you done to all those koopas and goombas, you seem to be too dangerous for your own good. sorry, dude. you got cool games though." Sans said.

"Those creatures are in league with Bowser, my-a main enemy! Hes kidnapped and conquered kingdoms! How can I trust the-a creatures when they're teamed with my enemy?" Mario asked.

Sans shrugged and spoke again. "well, maybe you should consider-"

The skeleton jumped back, completely avoiding Mario's fist which smashed into the stone below, creating a large crack. "well, looks like we're taking the hard route." 

Mario put his dukes up. 

"i really wish i didn't have to do this. i mean, it's a nice day outside, birds are chirping and people like you..."

Sans raised his arm. The result? A bone popped out of the ground. Mario - in the nick of time - barely dodged it by pulling his head back. As he got back up and shook himself off, he looked at Sans. Now, the skeleton's eyes were pitch-black.

"SHOULD BE ERASED BY THE VOID."

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BAD TIME!
FIGHT!

Mario wanted to end this quickly so he jumped up and went down for a head stomp. Much to his dismay, the skeleton dashed back, dodging with little to no trouble. "c'mon mr. nintendo, you're faster than that." Sans said, shrugging and smiling.

The plumber was now a bit annoyed and plucked out a small flower with an orange and red color to it. It even had eyes. "oh. that looks like a certain flower i know." Sans said as the flower merged with Mario. The result had Mario's overalls turn red while his shirt and hat became white.

Fire burned out of his hands.

"well, you appear to be getting fired up." Sans said as another rim-shot rang throughout the castle. Mario shot two fireballs forward but Sans merely tilted his head to dodge them. "what? you're that slow?" Sans said as he raised his arms up. A bone launched into Mario's jaw, launching him up but then, Sans used his psychic power to smash him downwards. Mario slowly rose and shook his head and saw the skeleton chuckled. The Plumber's hand began glowing with flames before he thrusted his palm forward. He shot out another fireball. Sans dodged it but it blew a hole in the side of the castle.

"hehe. nice try. by the way, i got something for you." Sans pulled out the infamous bridge-cutting axe Bowser had in his castle and tossed it at Mario. The Plumber dodged it... but he didn't dodge a giant, white laser. This resulted in the side of the castle getting blasted open, launching the Plumber and the axe out of the castle and into the green fields of the Mushroom Kingdom.

He landed on top of a Koopa, causing it to retreat into it's shell. Mario stood up and saw Sans approach.

"you made that koopa have some shellish nightmares." At this point, Mario's ears had adjusted to the rim shots. He kicked the Koopa Shell forward and, of course, Sans casually dodged it. Suddenly, a head of a skeleton appeared. This was a Gaster Blaster. It opened its mouth and a single, long laser blasted out-

But Mario merely pulled out his trusty cape, flailed it forward and reflected the beam directly back at the Gaster Blaster. The laser completely obliterated the Gaster Blaster. "huh. nice move, mario-"

Mario blitzed forward and attempted to punch Sans who jumped back from the attack. 

However... this time... Sans didn't say something cocky.

"heh..." The Skeleton was sweating and he was chuckling nervously now, Mario could tell. "you really wanna beat me? well, you're too good for me. you win. how about you just spare me and we be friends?" Sans said.

Mario thought about it for a second. This Skeleton was only fast but everywhere else, he attacks didn't hurt too much now that he thought about it. The Skeleton may have just been mislead to think Mario was an enemy...

Mario shook his head up and down.

Sans stared, his sweat slowly leaving. "wow. you're sparing me? you're a real buddy. after all those minions you murdered, you now decide to listen to an enemy... so... here's a gift..."

Suddenly, ten bones launched at Mario from the sky and from the ground.

"MAMA-MIA-"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Sans smiled as he stared the explosion from the colliding bones. "geeet duuuunked onnnn!" 

Sans turned to leave... 

A step. "wait. you survived?! that- no- you couldn't have dodged-"

Sans saw Mario step out with broken bones in his hand. "wow. you must be strong. you shattered those effortlessly! welp, time to end this, i guess since you have a bone to pick with me now." 

Another rim shot occurred as Mario tossed the broken bones aside, looking slightly annoyed and angry.

"Lets-a-go!"

Mario dashed forward and began punching rapidly. Sans - now exhausted - was still dodging but at a far slower pace. The Plumber mentally smirked, he now knew that he was almost capable of hitting Sans. 

He delivered an uppercut-

Sans motioned his hand forward, sending Mario back. Jumpman slid back and saw something next to him: The axe from Bowser's Castle. Mario put it on his back but as he did, he failed to see another Gaster Blaster appear. It blasted him, sending him flying back but he again held his ground. 

He plucked out a blue flower aka an Ice Flower. It fused with him, giving him a cyan cap and shirt along with red overalls.

Ice Mario had come out.

"should've sticked to the arcades, jumpman." Sans said as he summoned down one last Gaster Blaster. This time, Mario had an idea. He shot an iceball at the Gaster Blaster, freezing its entire body! The Plumber dashed forward and kicked it. The result had the skeletal head be sent sliding at Sans. The older brother of Papyrus dodged the ice block. 

"ha, didja really think you'd hit-"

Suddenly, Mario threw the castle axe at Sans and...

-99999999 HP

Direct hit. Sans' eyes widened as the axe dug into his chest. Blood began pouring from his mouth as he fell on his back.

He coughed as he began to speak. "well, you hit me. didn't expect that. however, before i tricked you by making you spare me, it felt like you were holding back from killing me. maybe i was wrong about you. maybe you are a good guy." Sans began to cough more. "but hey, what do i know? welp, i'm off to grillby's." Sans said. He stood up and began to walk off. He walked behind some bushes, disappearing almost instantly after.

Mario was confused now... better go see how Luigi's doing.

K.O.!

--

THIS MELEE'S WINNER IS...

MARIO