One Minute Melee: Mario vs. Sans

ONE MINUTE MELEE!

WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN 60 SECONDS!

TWO FIGHTERS!

NO RESEARCH!

MELEE!

--

Bowser's Castle

Mario had jumped over all of the lava and taken out all of the minions. Now, all that was left was Bowser himself. He stepped into the infamous room he had been in many times before and there it was: The lava pit below, the bridge hovering over it, the axe and the chain connecting the bridge and keeping it from falling.

However, Mario noticed something strange. Instead of Bowser walking out of the shadows, it was a short skeleton with a jacket

"Where is-a-" Before Mario could finish, the skeleton spoke.

"oh, hey. i've heard of you before. your that "mario" guy, right?" The skeleton asked. In response, the Plumber nodded his head.

"well, at least i was correct. my name is sans. you're probably wondering where that turtle guy is right about now. hes out of town with some guys named ganondorf, dedede and ridley. by the way, the way you came in was very rude..." Sans said. Mario raised a brow. "What did I-a do?"

"you forgot... to bow, sir." 

Suddenly, a rim shot echoed around Mario's ears, confusing him a bit.

Sans shrugged and opened one eye, staring at Mario while saying, "so, you might be wondering why i'm here. well, i've seen what you've done in these parts-"

"I-a don't have time for this!" Mario said, walking forward- 

Suddenly, Sans motioned his hand forward, causing Mario to be pushed back by some... psychic force. The plumber got up. It wouldn't be the first time he fought a psychic...

"well, see, i can't let you pass. after what i've seen you done to all those koopas and goombas, you seem to be too dangerous for your own good. sorry, dude. you got cool games though." Sans said.

"Those creatures are in league with Bowser, my-a main enemy! Hes kidnapped and conquered kingdoms! How can I trust the-a creatures when they're teamed with my enemy?" Mario asked.

Sans shrugged and spoke again. "well, maybe you should consider-"

The skeleton jumped back, completely avoiding Mario's fist which smashed into the stone below, creating a large crack. "well, looks like we're taking the hard route." 

Mario put his dukes up. 

"i really wish i didn't have to do this. i mean, it's a nice day outside, birds are chirping and people like you..."

Sans raised his arm. The result? A bone popped out of the ground. Mario - in the nick of time - barely dodged it by pulling his head back. As he got back up and shook himself off, he looked at Sans. Now, the skeleton's eyes were pitch-black.

"SHOULD BE ERASED BY THE VOID."

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BAD TIME!
FIGHT!

Mario wanted to end this quickly so he jumped up and went down for a head stomp. Much to his dismay, the skeleton dashed back, dodging with little to no trouble. "c'mon mr. nintendo, you're faster than that." Sans said, shrugging and smiling.

The plumber was now a bit annoyed and plucked out a small flower with an orange and red color to it. It even had eyes. "oh. that looks like a certain flower i know." Sans said as the flower merged with Mario. The result had Mario's overalls turn red while his shirt and hat became white.

Fire burned out of his hands.

"well, you appear to be getting fired up." Sans said as another rim-shot rang throughout the castle. Mario shot two fireballs forward but Sans merely tilted his head to dodge them. "what? you're that slow?" Sans said as he raised his arms up. A bone launched into Mario's jaw, launching him up but then, Sans used his psychic power to smash him downwards. Mario slowly rose and shook his head and saw the skeleton chuckled. The Plumber's hand began glowing with flames before he thrusted his palm forward. He shot out another fireball. Sans dodged it but it blew a hole in the side of the castle.

"hehe. nice try. by the way, i got something for you." Sans pulled out the infamous bridge-cutting axe Bowser had in his castle and tossed it at Mario. The Plumber dodged it... but he didn't dodge a giant, white laser. This resulted in the side of the castle getting blasted open, launching the Plumber and the axe out of the castle and into the green fields of the Mushroom Kingdom.

He landed on top of a Koopa, causing it to retreat into it's shell. Mario stood up and saw Sans approach.

"you made that koopa have some shellish nightmares." At this point, Mario's ears had adjusted to the rim shots. He kicked the Koopa Shell forward and, of course, Sans casually dodged it. Suddenly, a head of a skeleton appeared. This was a Gaster Blaster. It opened its mouth and a single, long laser blasted out-

But Mario merely pulled out his trusty cape, flailed it forward and reflected the beam directly back at the Gaster Blaster. The laser completely obliterated the Gaster Blaster. "huh. nice move, mario-"

Mario blitzed forward and attempted to punch Sans who jumped back from the attack. 

However... this time... Sans didn't say something cocky.

"heh..." The Skeleton was sweating and he was chuckling nervously now, Mario could tell. "you really wanna beat me? well, you're too good for me. you win. how about you just spare me and we be friends?" Sans said.

Mario thought about it for a second. This Skeleton was only fast but everywhere else, he attacks didn't hurt too much now that he thought about it. The Skeleton may have just been mislead to think Mario was an enemy...

Mario shook his head up and down.

Sans stared, his sweat slowly leaving. "wow. you're sparing me? you're a real buddy. after all those minions you murdered, you now decide to listen to an enemy... so... here's a gift..."

Suddenly, ten bones launched at Mario from the sky and from the ground.

"MAMA-MIA-"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Sans smiled as he stared the explosion from the colliding bones. "geeet duuuunked onnnn!" 

Sans turned to leave... 

A step. "wait. you survived?! that- no- you couldn't have dodged-"

Sans saw Mario step out with broken bones in his hand. "wow. you must be strong. you shattered those effortlessly! welp, time to end this, i guess since you have a bone to pick with me now." 

Another rim shot occurred as Mario tossed the broken bones aside, looking slightly annoyed and angry.

"Lets-a-go!"

Mario dashed forward and began punching rapidly. Sans - now exhausted - was still dodging but at a far slower pace. The Plumber mentally smirked, he now knew that he was almost capable of hitting Sans. 

He delivered an uppercut-

Sans motioned his hand forward, sending Mario back. Jumpman slid back and saw something next to him: The axe from Bowser's Castle. Mario put it on his back but as he did, he failed to see another Gaster Blaster appear. It blasted him, sending him flying back but he again held his ground. 

He plucked out a blue flower aka an Ice Flower. It fused with him, giving him a cyan cap and shirt along with red overalls.

Ice Mario had come out.

"should've sticked to the arcades, jumpman." Sans said as he summoned down one last Gaster Blaster. This time, Mario had an idea. He shot an iceball at the Gaster Blaster, freezing its entire body! The Plumber dashed forward and kicked it. The result had the skeletal head be sent sliding at Sans. The older brother of Papyrus dodged the ice block. 

"ha, didja really think you'd hit-"

Suddenly, Mario threw the castle axe at Sans and...

-99999999 HP

Direct hit. Sans' eyes widened as the axe dug into his chest. Blood began pouring from his mouth as he fell on his back.

He coughed as he began to speak. "well, you hit me. didn't expect that. however, before i tricked you by making you spare me, it felt like you were holding back from killing me. maybe i was wrong about you. maybe you are a good guy." Sans began to cough more. "but hey, what do i know? welp, i'm off to grillby's." Sans said. He stood up and began to walk off. He walked behind some bushes, disappearing almost instantly after.

Mario was confused now... better go see how Luigi's doing.

K.O.!

--

THIS MELEE'S WINNER IS...

MARIO

One Minute Melee: Nisa vs. Jack-O Valentine

ONE MINUTE MELEE!

WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN 60 SECONDS!

TWO FIGHTERS!

NO RESEARCH!

MELEE!

--

The Backyard

A blue-haired girl with orange goggles, a red scarf, black jumpsuit and blue eyes walked across the wasteland known as the Backyard.

"Where did my Prinny go to?" Nisa said, looking around the wasteland. She stopped to see her small Prinny sleeping by a nearby rock.

"There you are!"

The Prinny opened its eyes and saw Nisa. Its eyes were filled with nothing but dread. "Oh crap! Not her, dood! Ruuuuuun!" The Prinny yelled. It turned and ran away from the Heroine of Justice who pursued it. "You cannot escape justice!"

As the Prinny ran, it was intercepted by a kick that sent it flying right at Nisa! The Heroine caught the Prinny and set it down.

The thing the drop-kicked the Prinny was revealed to be a busty woman with long, red and white hair. She wore a white jumpsuit and stared down Nisa.

This was Jack-O Valentine.

"Hey! What the hell, that was my Prinny!" Nisa yelled. "What you call a 'Prinny' is nothing more than a blue penguin that even my mere Minions could handle." Jack-O said. "I suggest you leave this place, girl, you will die."

Nisa looked on as she was surrounded by small, gingerbread man-looking beings with green eyes. These were the Minions that Jack-O had spoke of.

"Your surrounded." Jack-O said.

Nisa had her head down as the Minions began to close in on her and lunged-

Suddenly, she did an amazingly accurate roundhouse kick, knocking away each and every Minion. They were all sent soaring back and were either knocked out or flat out dead.

Nisa pumped her fist into the air and jumped up. "No! I will not lose!" She began. "I am the Heroine of Justice! I will stop you for harming MY Prinny! If I don't stand up to you, who will?! Now, you face the power of..."

The Heroine of Justice smashed her feet down and her scarf began blowing in the wind.

"THE HEROINE OF JUSTICE! NISA!"

Jack-O's face of seriousness turned to that of a kid in a candy store. She laughed. "Hahaha! So... you want to fight?"

She did a quick spin while pulling out a green, jack-o-lantern-like mask and put it on. "Then bring it on, girl! This is going to be fun!"

Jack-O and Nisa glared at each other. Nisa showed nothing but fearlessness but Jack-O was smiling behind her mask.

DON'T BLINK!
FIGHT!

Nisa lifted her Prinny over her head. "H-hey, dood! W-what are you doing?!" The Prinny asked, sweating nervously. Jack-O - in response - lifted one of her minions and kicked her at the Heroine of Justice. Nisa threw her Prinny and the two servants collided. The Prinny exploded while the Minion was sent flying back.

Nisa blitzed through the explosion and drop-kicked Jack-O right in the face! The Valentine was quick, however, and flipped over and grabbed onto Nisa's leg. She threw her backwards but the Heroine of Justice managed to spin around and land on both feet.

Nisa jumped forward while yelling "I'M NOT GONNA MISS!" as she landed directly in front of Jack-O. She rapidly punched her three times. The third punch launched the Valentine into the skies. As Jack-O was soaring, she noticed that the Heroine had completely vanished-

Suddenly, she was punched directly in the back, sending her sky-rocketing. Once again, Nisa blitzed to where Jack-O was launched and punched her upwards. With one final blitz, she yelled, "ABSOLUTE HERO LEGEND!" before smashing her hands down and sending Jack-O rocketing towards the ground. A large crater appeared as Jack-O lifted herself up, dizzied by the blow.

"Take this!" Nisa yelled, blitzing at the downed Jack-O. However, Valentine was quick and ducked underneath. Nisa flew forward and landed. While she tried to turn around quickly, Jack-O was a bit too quick. She kicked Nisa in the chin and then jumped up. Her jack-o-lantern shackle opened its mouth and began to swallow the Heroine! Nisa stared in horror as it gulped her and began to chew.

The jack-o-lantern turned and spat her out. Nisa was now covered in drool but Jack-O was amazed that she even lived. Nisa stood and began to shake herself off. "Ewww! Why would you...?!" Nisa stopped as she saw a small minion with a stick walk up to her.

"...huh?"

Said minion jabbed her in the knee with a stick. "Ow! You little jerk!" Nisa said. She lifted her foot and kicked the minion into the sky before resuming her attention to Jack-O-

Who had dissappeared. "Wait, where did-"

Nisa felt a great pain in her back as Jack-O smashed her foot into her back. Slowly standing back up, the Heroine of Justice lifted her hand. An orange glow spawned in her hand. She span it around and dashed at Jack-O. She slashed at her with the glowing slash and then yelled, "DARK SWORD! X SLASH!"

BOOM!

A large explosion covered where Jack-O was. Nisa stared at where Jack-O was...

Suddenly, Jack-O blitzed over and lunged at the Heroine of Justice! Nisa stared in shock as Jack-O drop-kicked her directly in the face! Nisa was now dazed and suddenly, all of the Valentine's Minions dashed at the blinded girl. They kicked her onto her back and pulled out rope. They tied her to the ground as fast as possible.

Nisa opened her eyes and looked around. She looked over to see the Minions, tossing Jack-O up and down. The girl looked happy but then, the Minions used all of their might and threw Jack-O into the skies, very high above. Nisa thought and realized that this girl had to be doing something to come back down with so she extended her arms out and broke the rope effortlessly!

"LETS GO!" Nisa yelled. A group of Prinnies - out of literally nowhere - dashed over to the Heroine of Justice. They picked her up and begin tossing her up.

"NI-"

They tossed her up again...

"PPON-"

And again...

"ICHI!"

And then threw her directly upward, sky-rocketing into skies above! She flipped herself around and prepared a kick. She flew threw the clouds... and saw Jack-O, right in front of her with a kick of her own, ready to meet Nisa's head on.

The feet of the two waifus met and the result?

An absolutely enormous explosion occured. The entire Backyard shook violently before everything came to a stop. Upon the smoke clearing, two figures fell downward and hit the ground.

Of the two figures, one managed to slowly, achingly stand up. Jack-O's bright red eyes sparkled as she stood up and looked at where Nisa once was...

However, then she saw the Heroine of Justice slowly stand up. Jack-O nearly broke down laughing.

"Wow! Your strong for someone whos so flat-chested!" Jack-O said. Nisa looked forward in disbelief. "Oh... well than- wait, what did you say about my chest?!"

"Oh nothing!" The Valentine said. "Hey, you seem cool, do you wanna be friends?" Jack-O said, almost like as if they had never even fought in the first place. "Wait... what?!" Nisa said, confused. The Heroine of Justice was very confused but...

"I hear that there's some upcoming tourney with a bunch of bad people, wanna go beat them? It sounds fun!" When Jack-O said that, Nisa began to listen. "Bad guys?! Now, I know I must go!"

The two began to walk off as if nothing had even happened.

K.O.! 

--

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE...

A DRAW