One Minute Melee: Dark Meta Knight vs. Omega Zero

ONE MINUTE MELEE!

WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN 60 SECONDS!

TWO FIGHTERS!

NO RESEARCH!

MELEE!

--

Deserted Plains

A single, lone figure in dark red armor with long, yellow hair looked upon the battlefield, scattered with bits of metal and the corpses of Reploids all around him. 

About an hour ago, Doctor Weil had sent an entire fleet of Reploids to hunt down a group of resistance members but after losing contact to all of them - some, even his absolute best Reploids - he realized that they might have been dealing with a far more serious enemy. 

Omega Zero stood among the dead Reploids, looking around for any signs of the enemy. There was, however, one sign of life: Volteel Biblio.

Even then, he wasn't in top shape. The eel-like Reploid crawled on the ground, his two stingers ripped off and parts of him damaged and broken off.

"h...heeellllp... meeeeeeee..."

Omega looked down at the dying Reploid who crawled over to him slowly.

When suddenly...

"AHHH!"

Volteel was split in two, completely ripped apart. Both of his halves hit the ground. Omega Zero, however, didn't even flinch and just merely stared at the new fighter. It was a small, grey-colored, sphere-shaped being with two dark wings, a grey mask and a dark-grey sword in his left hand.

Dark Meta Knight stared at his opponent, Omega Zero, clearly wanting to kill him as well.

The two looked at each other, both with the intent of killing the other until... Omega smiled.

"Ware wa meshia nari! Hahahaha!"

IT'S KILL OR BE KILLED!

FIGHT!

Omega made the first move, lunging at Dark Meta Knight with his Z-Saber. He made... a direct hit on his mask. With a quick motion, he cut Dark Meta Knight right in half. The fight was already over? How did his Reploids lose to such a weakling?

Suddenly, the dark copy-cat of Meta Knight exploded into glass, strangely enough...

SLASH!

Just in the nick of time, Omega Zero turned around and blocked a hit from Dark Meta Knight's sword. It was a fake?

SLASH!

Omega grunted in pain as his hip was slashed at by the real Dark Meta Knight. The Messiah kicked the fake Dark Meta Knight, shattering it into glass before chasing after the real Dark Meta Knight. Quickly, the Mirror World warrior turned to face Omega and blitzed at him with his sword. Omega merely slammed his Z-Saber into the ground.

The result?

Three giant boulders were sent flying into the skies above. They rained down onto the grounds below and Dark Meta Knight easily dodged all of them... except one which nailed him directly on his head. Now dazed, Dark Meta Knight was wide open. Omega dashed forward and slashed with his Z-Saber. He cut downward and then did a flying sword uppercut, sending Dark Meta Knight upwards. Omega landed but then jumped up once more and did a spinning slash attack, repeatedly cutting at Dark Meta Knight. The swordsman hit the ground with a thud. Fortunately for the dark swordsman, none of the wounds were particularly fatal.

He got up before raising his blade into the skies above. Omega Zero looked on in confusion... before looking down to see a mirror appear on the ground below him.

While he didn't know precisely what would happen, he knew one thing: That can't be good.

Suddenly, a giant blade shot up and impaled poor Omega on it. He was now the owner of a blade wound in the chest, grunting in pain from it. With a quick burst, Dark Meta Knight blitzed at the now immobile Omega and headbutted him off of the blade!

The Messiah could barely stand... but then, he slammed his hand into the ground and multiple, cyan pillars surrounded him. His hip injury and his chest injury began to regenerate. He was healing himself. The dark swordsman tried to attack with his sword but unfortunately for him, his sword bounced off of the healing pillars.

Realizing his assault was useless, Dark Meta Knight readied his wings to fly and shot up-

Only for Omega to grab him by his foot and smash him down onto the ground. He slashed at the dark swordsman three times which sent him flying back and into a rock. Said rock collapsed on Dark Meta Knight. Omega smirked... only to then see the rock get slashed more times than he could count and fall apart into pebbles. Suddenly, Dark Meta Knight pulled his sword above his head for a solid second and slammed it into the ground.

The result was... devastating to say the least. Out of seemingly nowhere, a giant tornado picked up and it was slowly going towards Omega. It picked up trees and rocks... but Omega Zero stayed put. He stood strong and pulled his blade back for a solid second. With a quick motion, he slashed forward and an energy blast was flung forth from his blade. The blast flew at the tornado and then both met...

It wasn't even a contest. The sword blast casually dispersed the tornado and obliterated every last bit of it. Trees fell and so did rocks but there was no sign of Dark Meta Knight.

"WIYA!"

SLASH!

Once again, his quick reactions saved him as Omega then blocked another sword slash from Dark Meta Knight. He then heard footsteps from behind. Quickly, he stepped back and slammed his blade into the ground once more. Rocks were launched upwards and then fell down. Both rocks smashed onto the fake swordsman and the real one. The fake one shattered like glass while the real one stumbled back from the blow. Omega lunched at the real Dark Meta Knight and slashed at him-

But Dark Meta Knight blocked the blow. The two struggled for superior strength over the other. Omega began to overpower Dark Meta Knight's blade... but that's exactly what he wanted. Suddenly, Omega noticed the floor below him change into a mirror. Deja Vu and a sudden feeling of dread overwashed him. The sword slashed upwards and right into Omega's chest again. Dark Meta Knight jumped at Omega and rolled into a ball and began performing a spinning slash on him! It hit Omega multiple times, cutting at his robotic body, sending bits of metal flying.


The giant blade may have retracted into the ground and Omega began falling down to the Earth below but the dark swordsman was far from done. He lunged at the Messiah and slashed at him, multiple times. He brought his blade down onto Omega's chest, embedding a giant scar onto him, causing Omega to yell in pain... but then, he opened his eye which was now glowing red... with anger.

The Messiah smashed his fist into the ground and multiple, green blasts of energy flew outward. Dark Meta Knight jumped over one of them but then fell into Omega Zero slashing at him and to say he went absolutely ballistic would be an understatement. He slashed upwards onto Dark Meta Knight, then downward, then to the side before pulling his blade back and then putting almost all of his power into one mighty swing. The result involved Omega slashing upward into Dark Meta Knight and sending him absolutely flying. So much so, he flew up into the skies above, past the clouds, past the atmosphere... and was now firmly resting in space.

The dark swordsman looked around himself. He saw asteroids, the planet itself... and a giant satellite.



It was Ragnarok, the enormous satellite built by the evil Doctor Weil. It's main purpose was to wipe out the resistance against Weil... but Dark Meta Knight thought it could be used for something else...

--

Down on the planet, Omega was surrounding himself in the blue, healing pillars once more.

Almost at full health-

rumble...

...it must've been just nothing-

Rumble...

Was it... getting louder?

RUMBLE...

It was getting louder-

RUMBLERUMBLERUMBLERUMBLERUMBLERUMBLERUMBLERUMBLERUMBLERUMBLERUMBLERUMBLE...

Omega looked up... and was in absolute awe.

There it was, Ragnarok, falling out of orbit and coming directly down on Omega. It was burning up on re-entry. But no matter, Omega was incredibly fast. He readied himself to get out of the way-

Suddenly, a nearby mirror appeared and out of it came Dark Meta Knight. He slashed at Omega's hip, dazing him for a second before re-entering another mirror to avoid the falling satellite.

The Messiah was dazed but eventually, he got out of his dizziness... and then looked up to see Ragnarok.

Two feet away from his face.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

The explosion... was absolutely massive. It spread vast and obliterated all of the trees and all of the mountains. The ground was burnt harshly and reduced to a scorching hot battlefield.

By the time the blast finished, everything within the length of thousands of miles was nothing more than blackened plains filled with ash and fire.

Among the flames, there was one figure standing: It was a being with a sphere-shaped body and dark wings. His mask was cracked but he himself was alive.

Dark Meta Knight lived to see another day...



























"HAHAHAHA!"

He lived.

He lived through it all.

The Messiah still stood tall on his two feet. But rather than feeling rage, he laughed at the fact that he had survived it all. All of the terrain that was destroyed but he himself was still standing. It hurt, yes but he wouldn't fall, not even to a satellite crashing directly onto him.

He turned to see Dark Meta Knight who stared. Dark Meta Knight - on the outside - remained calm. On the inside, however, he was... excited. This duel was the hardest he ever fought... and it would only get more and more interesting from here on out.

The two dashed at each other and locked blades for a second before Omega noticed something below his feet: a mirror. This time, Omega was no fool and jumped back, dodging the massive blade surging from the ground.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps.

Five clones of Dark Meta Knight lunged at Omega Zero.

A lot of them in fact. He closed his eyes, listened... and then smashed his fist against the ground. The shockwave was so powerful, it shattered everyclone. He quickly dashed at Dark Meta Knight and began slashing at him. He slashed downward and then upward with a sword-based uppercut, dazing Dark Meta Knight. He came falling back down and cut downward... and directly through Dark Meta Knight's mask, cleaving it off.


Upon the cut being fully finished, it showed the dark swordsman's true face... a dark faced being with cute, yellow eyes and two black blush spots on his cheeks.

Omega... chuckled a little... but then resumed back to fighting and lunged with a sword slash-

Dark Meta Knight jumped back into a mirror behind him, completely avoiding the strike. He then spawned five mirrors, all surrounding Omega Zero.

Omega looked around... and five Dark Meta Knights blitzed out of the mirrors and cut at Omega. He groaned in pain as multiple bits of his body fell off of him. He saw all five coming from all corners... and then smiled again. He lunged at one and cut it in half before turning around to fire three shots from his blaster at another one. He dashed at that clone and did a sword-based uppercut once more...


Which conveniently made him be near another clone to strike. He grabbed onto that clone, span around and smashed him, face first onto another clone, shattering it. He began charging himself with energy, surrounding himself in an orange aura. He looked up to see one more clone dashing at him.

Omega Zero's response?

He casually shot him. It blew the clone up into millions of bits of glass, casually. He turned away to see the real deal lunge at him and cut down at him. Omega dodged, reeled back his blade and smashed it downward. Dark Meta Knight challenged it by swinging his sword back up...

It stood no chance.

Omega's blade casually cut the dark swordsman's in two. Omega smiled for literally a split-second... but Dark Meta Knight merely took advantage of that. A split second was all he needed.

He slashed up with his broken sword and cut out Omega's throat. Electricity spewed everywhere as Omega fell back from his wound. Even then, Dark Meta Knight was still not finished. He pulled his blade back and blitzed through Omega's body, cutting it like butter. Omega's top half went flying into the skies above.

Dark Meta Knight opened a mirror, even as Omega's body was still helplessly soaring in the sky... but thing is? It wasn't helpless. Omega began glowing with an orange aura, he was charging another attack!

As he fell, he readied himself...

Direct hit.

He smashed his blade into Dark Meta Knight, sending him into the mirror. The dark swordsman was lying in his back.

Omega realized that if the swordsman could go through the mirror... so could his attack. He began charging up another attack, another aura of orange surrounding him before he blasted at the mirror. The charge shot was larger than Dark Meta Knight himself. The blast went through the portal and made direct contact with the dark swordsman. One of the Mirror World's strongest warriors made one last yell of pain that echoed across the world... and then?

He exploded into five pieces like shattered glass.

The mirror faded away as Omega looked at the place where it once was. He looked at it... and then laughed in his final moments. The lights on his body finally went dark... before he hit the ground, face-first, no more. The flames around him then consumed Omega's corpse.

And like that, the original body of Zero and the doppleganger of Meta Knight were... no more.

--

K.O.!

--

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE...

A DRAW!

One Minute Melee: Mario vs. Sans

ONE MINUTE MELEE!

WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN 60 SECONDS!

TWO FIGHTERS!

NO RESEARCH!

MELEE!

--

Bowser's Castle

Mario had jumped over all of the lava and taken out all of the minions. Now, all that was left was Bowser himself. He stepped into the infamous room he had been in many times before and there it was: The lava pit below, the bridge hovering over it, the axe and the chain connecting the bridge and keeping it from falling.

However, Mario noticed something strange. Instead of Bowser walking out of the shadows, it was a short skeleton with a jacket

"Where is-a-" Before Mario could finish, the skeleton spoke.

"oh, hey. i've heard of you before. your that "mario" guy, right?" The skeleton asked. In response, the Plumber nodded his head.

"well, at least i was correct. my name is sans. you're probably wondering where that turtle guy is right about now. hes out of town with some guys named ganondorf, dedede and ridley. by the way, the way you came in was very rude..." Sans said. Mario raised a brow. "What did I-a do?"

"you forgot... to bow, sir." 

Suddenly, a rim shot echoed around Mario's ears, confusing him a bit.

Sans shrugged and opened one eye, staring at Mario while saying, "so, you might be wondering why i'm here. well, i've seen what you've done in these parts-"

"I-a don't have time for this!" Mario said, walking forward- 

Suddenly, Sans motioned his hand forward, causing Mario to be pushed back by some... psychic force. The plumber got up. It wouldn't be the first time he fought a psychic...

"well, see, i can't let you pass. after what i've seen you done to all those koopas and goombas, you seem to be too dangerous for your own good. sorry, dude. you got cool games though." Sans said.

"Those creatures are in league with Bowser, my-a main enemy! Hes kidnapped and conquered kingdoms! How can I trust the-a creatures when they're teamed with my enemy?" Mario asked.

Sans shrugged and spoke again. "well, maybe you should consider-"

The skeleton jumped back, completely avoiding Mario's fist which smashed into the stone below, creating a large crack. "well, looks like we're taking the hard route." 

Mario put his dukes up. 

"i really wish i didn't have to do this. i mean, it's a nice day outside, birds are chirping and people like you..."

Sans raised his arm. The result? A bone popped out of the ground. Mario - in the nick of time - barely dodged it by pulling his head back. As he got back up and shook himself off, he looked at Sans. Now, the skeleton's eyes were pitch-black.

"SHOULD BE ERASED BY THE VOID."

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BAD TIME!
FIGHT!

Mario wanted to end this quickly so he jumped up and went down for a head stomp. Much to his dismay, the skeleton dashed back, dodging with little to no trouble. "c'mon mr. nintendo, you're faster than that." Sans said, shrugging and smiling.

The plumber was now a bit annoyed and plucked out a small flower with an orange and red color to it. It even had eyes. "oh. that looks like a certain flower i know." Sans said as the flower merged with Mario. The result had Mario's overalls turn red while his shirt and hat became white.

Fire burned out of his hands.

"well, you appear to be getting fired up." Sans said as another rim-shot rang throughout the castle. Mario shot two fireballs forward but Sans merely tilted his head to dodge them. "what? you're that slow?" Sans said as he raised his arms up. A bone launched into Mario's jaw, launching him up but then, Sans used his psychic power to smash him downwards. Mario slowly rose and shook his head and saw the skeleton chuckled. The Plumber's hand began glowing with flames before he thrusted his palm forward. He shot out another fireball. Sans dodged it but it blew a hole in the side of the castle.

"hehe. nice try. by the way, i got something for you." Sans pulled out the infamous bridge-cutting axe Bowser had in his castle and tossed it at Mario. The Plumber dodged it... but he didn't dodge a giant, white laser. This resulted in the side of the castle getting blasted open, launching the Plumber and the axe out of the castle and into the green fields of the Mushroom Kingdom.

He landed on top of a Koopa, causing it to retreat into it's shell. Mario stood up and saw Sans approach.

"you made that koopa have some shellish nightmares." At this point, Mario's ears had adjusted to the rim shots. He kicked the Koopa Shell forward and, of course, Sans casually dodged it. Suddenly, a head of a skeleton appeared. This was a Gaster Blaster. It opened its mouth and a single, long laser blasted out-

But Mario merely pulled out his trusty cape, flailed it forward and reflected the beam directly back at the Gaster Blaster. The laser completely obliterated the Gaster Blaster. "huh. nice move, mario-"

Mario blitzed forward and attempted to punch Sans who jumped back from the attack. 

However... this time... Sans didn't say something cocky.

"heh..." The Skeleton was sweating and he was chuckling nervously now, Mario could tell. "you really wanna beat me? well, you're too good for me. you win. how about you just spare me and we be friends?" Sans said.

Mario thought about it for a second. This Skeleton was only fast but everywhere else, he attacks didn't hurt too much now that he thought about it. The Skeleton may have just been mislead to think Mario was an enemy...

Mario shook his head up and down.

Sans stared, his sweat slowly leaving. "wow. you're sparing me? you're a real buddy. after all those minions you murdered, you now decide to listen to an enemy... so... here's a gift..."

Suddenly, ten bones launched at Mario from the sky and from the ground.

"MAMA-MIA-"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Sans smiled as he stared the explosion from the colliding bones. "geeet duuuunked onnnn!" 

Sans turned to leave... 

A step. "wait. you survived?! that- no- you couldn't have dodged-"

Sans saw Mario step out with broken bones in his hand. "wow. you must be strong. you shattered those effortlessly! welp, time to end this, i guess since you have a bone to pick with me now." 

Another rim shot occurred as Mario tossed the broken bones aside, looking slightly annoyed and angry.

"Lets-a-go!"

Mario dashed forward and began punching rapidly. Sans - now exhausted - was still dodging but at a far slower pace. The Plumber mentally smirked, he now knew that he was almost capable of hitting Sans. 

He delivered an uppercut-

Sans motioned his hand forward, sending Mario back. Jumpman slid back and saw something next to him: The axe from Bowser's Castle. Mario put it on his back but as he did, he failed to see another Gaster Blaster appear. It blasted him, sending him flying back but he again held his ground. 

He plucked out a blue flower aka an Ice Flower. It fused with him, giving him a cyan cap and shirt along with red overalls.

Ice Mario had come out.

"should've sticked to the arcades, jumpman." Sans said as he summoned down one last Gaster Blaster. This time, Mario had an idea. He shot an iceball at the Gaster Blaster, freezing its entire body! The Plumber dashed forward and kicked it. The result had the skeletal head be sent sliding at Sans. The older brother of Papyrus dodged the ice block. 

"ha, didja really think you'd hit-"

Suddenly, Mario threw the castle axe at Sans and...

-99999999 HP

Direct hit. Sans' eyes widened as the axe dug into his chest. Blood began pouring from his mouth as he fell on his back.

He coughed as he began to speak. "well, you hit me. didn't expect that. however, before i tricked you by making you spare me, it felt like you were holding back from killing me. maybe i was wrong about you. maybe you are a good guy." Sans began to cough more. "but hey, what do i know? welp, i'm off to grillby's." Sans said. He stood up and began to walk off. He walked behind some bushes, disappearing almost instantly after.

Mario was confused now... better go see how Luigi's doing.

K.O.!

--

THIS MELEE'S WINNER IS...

MARIO

One Minute Melee: Nisa vs. Jack-O Valentine

ONE MINUTE MELEE!

WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN 60 SECONDS!

TWO FIGHTERS!

NO RESEARCH!

MELEE!

--

The Backyard

A blue-haired girl with orange goggles, a red scarf, black jumpsuit and blue eyes walked across the wasteland known as the Backyard.

"Where did my Prinny go to?" Nisa said, looking around the wasteland. She stopped to see her small Prinny sleeping by a nearby rock.

"There you are!"

The Prinny opened its eyes and saw Nisa. Its eyes were filled with nothing but dread. "Oh crap! Not her, dood! Ruuuuuun!" The Prinny yelled. It turned and ran away from the Heroine of Justice who pursued it. "You cannot escape justice!"

As the Prinny ran, it was intercepted by a kick that sent it flying right at Nisa! The Heroine caught the Prinny and set it down.

The thing the drop-kicked the Prinny was revealed to be a busty woman with long, red and white hair. She wore a white jumpsuit and stared down Nisa.

This was Jack-O Valentine.

"Hey! What the hell, that was my Prinny!" Nisa yelled. "What you call a 'Prinny' is nothing more than a blue penguin that even my mere Minions could handle." Jack-O said. "I suggest you leave this place, girl, you will die."

Nisa looked on as she was surrounded by small, gingerbread man-looking beings with green eyes. These were the Minions that Jack-O had spoke of.

"Your surrounded." Jack-O said.

Nisa had her head down as the Minions began to close in on her and lunged-

Suddenly, she did an amazingly accurate roundhouse kick, knocking away each and every Minion. They were all sent soaring back and were either knocked out or flat out dead.

Nisa pumped her fist into the air and jumped up. "No! I will not lose!" She began. "I am the Heroine of Justice! I will stop you for harming MY Prinny! If I don't stand up to you, who will?! Now, you face the power of..."

The Heroine of Justice smashed her feet down and her scarf began blowing in the wind.

"THE HEROINE OF JUSTICE! NISA!"

Jack-O's face of seriousness turned to that of a kid in a candy store. She laughed. "Hahaha! So... you want to fight?"

She did a quick spin while pulling out a green, jack-o-lantern-like mask and put it on. "Then bring it on, girl! This is going to be fun!"

Jack-O and Nisa glared at each other. Nisa showed nothing but fearlessness but Jack-O was smiling behind her mask.

DON'T BLINK!
FIGHT!

Nisa lifted her Prinny over her head. "H-hey, dood! W-what are you doing?!" The Prinny asked, sweating nervously. Jack-O - in response - lifted one of her minions and kicked her at the Heroine of Justice. Nisa threw her Prinny and the two servants collided. The Prinny exploded while the Minion was sent flying back.

Nisa blitzed through the explosion and drop-kicked Jack-O right in the face! The Valentine was quick, however, and flipped over and grabbed onto Nisa's leg. She threw her backwards but the Heroine of Justice managed to spin around and land on both feet.

Nisa jumped forward while yelling "I'M NOT GONNA MISS!" as she landed directly in front of Jack-O. She rapidly punched her three times. The third punch launched the Valentine into the skies. As Jack-O was soaring, she noticed that the Heroine had completely vanished-

Suddenly, she was punched directly in the back, sending her sky-rocketing. Once again, Nisa blitzed to where Jack-O was launched and punched her upwards. With one final blitz, she yelled, "ABSOLUTE HERO LEGEND!" before smashing her hands down and sending Jack-O rocketing towards the ground. A large crater appeared as Jack-O lifted herself up, dizzied by the blow.

"Take this!" Nisa yelled, blitzing at the downed Jack-O. However, Valentine was quick and ducked underneath. Nisa flew forward and landed. While she tried to turn around quickly, Jack-O was a bit too quick. She kicked Nisa in the chin and then jumped up. Her jack-o-lantern shackle opened its mouth and began to swallow the Heroine! Nisa stared in horror as it gulped her and began to chew.

The jack-o-lantern turned and spat her out. Nisa was now covered in drool but Jack-O was amazed that she even lived. Nisa stood and began to shake herself off. "Ewww! Why would you...?!" Nisa stopped as she saw a small minion with a stick walk up to her.

"...huh?"

Said minion jabbed her in the knee with a stick. "Ow! You little jerk!" Nisa said. She lifted her foot and kicked the minion into the sky before resuming her attention to Jack-O-

Who had dissappeared. "Wait, where did-"

Nisa felt a great pain in her back as Jack-O smashed her foot into her back. Slowly standing back up, the Heroine of Justice lifted her hand. An orange glow spawned in her hand. She span it around and dashed at Jack-O. She slashed at her with the glowing slash and then yelled, "DARK SWORD! X SLASH!"

BOOM!

A large explosion covered where Jack-O was. Nisa stared at where Jack-O was...

Suddenly, Jack-O blitzed over and lunged at the Heroine of Justice! Nisa stared in shock as Jack-O drop-kicked her directly in the face! Nisa was now dazed and suddenly, all of the Valentine's Minions dashed at the blinded girl. They kicked her onto her back and pulled out rope. They tied her to the ground as fast as possible.

Nisa opened her eyes and looked around. She looked over to see the Minions, tossing Jack-O up and down. The girl looked happy but then, the Minions used all of their might and threw Jack-O into the skies, very high above. Nisa thought and realized that this girl had to be doing something to come back down with so she extended her arms out and broke the rope effortlessly!

"LETS GO!" Nisa yelled. A group of Prinnies - out of literally nowhere - dashed over to the Heroine of Justice. They picked her up and begin tossing her up.

"NI-"

They tossed her up again...

"PPON-"

And again...

"ICHI!"

And then threw her directly upward, sky-rocketing into skies above! She flipped herself around and prepared a kick. She flew threw the clouds... and saw Jack-O, right in front of her with a kick of her own, ready to meet Nisa's head on.

The feet of the two waifus met and the result?

An absolutely enormous explosion occured. The entire Backyard shook violently before everything came to a stop. Upon the smoke clearing, two figures fell downward and hit the ground.

Of the two figures, one managed to slowly, achingly stand up. Jack-O's bright red eyes sparkled as she stood up and looked at where Nisa once was...

However, then she saw the Heroine of Justice slowly stand up. Jack-O nearly broke down laughing.

"Wow! Your strong for someone whos so flat-chested!" Jack-O said. Nisa looked forward in disbelief. "Oh... well than- wait, what did you say about my chest?!"

"Oh nothing!" The Valentine said. "Hey, you seem cool, do you wanna be friends?" Jack-O said, almost like as if they had never even fought in the first place. "Wait... what?!" Nisa said, confused. The Heroine of Justice was very confused but...

"I hear that there's some upcoming tourney with a bunch of bad people, wanna go beat them? It sounds fun!" When Jack-O said that, Nisa began to listen. "Bad guys?! Now, I know I must go!"

The two began to walk off as if nothing had even happened.

K.O.! 

--

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE...

A DRAW

One Minute Melee: Superboy-Prime vs. Dark Schneider

ONE MINUTE MELEE!

WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN 60 SECONDS!

TWO FIGHTERS!

NO RESEARCH!

MELEE!

--

Supermarket

Superboy-Prime walked around the supermarket, looking for something important: Apples. He was hungry and he absolutely wanted apples. No way around it, he wanted them. 

Prime walked around and turned his head to see a basket with one, final apple in it. He began to walk over when suddenly, a man bigger than him who had large muscles, long, white hair and a red cape reached into the basket and picked up the apple. 

To say that Prime was more triggered then a Tumblrina would be an understatement. He walked right up to Dark Schneider and poked him. "HEY, PAL! I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT THATS MY APPLE!" He yelled. Darsh turned his head and merely looked at him. He raised his fist up. 

"Fuck off." 

Dark Schneider's middle finger launched up, hit Prime in the forehead and sent him sky-rocketing back into a basket of bananas!

Darsh chuckled at the site but much to his surprise, the boy wasn't dead. All of the bananas were vaporized by a heat blast, sending ashes everywhere. Prime rose out of the banana ashes and stared down at Darsh. 

"YOU! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU TO DEATH!!!" 

Dark Schneider rolled his eyes. "No... I'M GOING TO KILL YOU DEAD!"

DON'T BLINK!
FIGHT!

Prime blitzed forward and punched at the Dark Messiah but it wouldn't be over that quickly. Ducking underneath him, Darsh punched the Angry Wannabe Superhero right in the gut, sending him sky-rocketing. Prime thrusted his arms back and flew back down. He began punching at Darsh over and over, hoping to overwhelm his defense with his flurry of fists.

The Dark Wizard merely kept blocking each blow with literally no trouble. He then smashed the palm of his hand directly into Prime's nose! "AGH! DAMMITDAMMITDAMMIT-" 

"Quit your bitching and grow a pair, faggot!" Darsh yelled as he literally pimp-slapped Prime across the floor of the supermarket. Darsh began to approach his enemy but Superboy-Prime lifted his head and stared at Darsh. His eyes glowed red and he shot a red laser at the Dark Messiah's chest. The wizard stumbled back and clutched his wounded chest. "Ow! That hurt you-" 

"DIE!" Prime yelled, blitzing forward and punching- 

Darsh literally stopped his punch completely by grabbing him. "Now, as I was saying... that hurt you little bitch!" 

Darsh threw Prime over his shoulders and slammed him down onto the concrete below. He lifted his foot, smashing it onto Prime's head multiple times. He lifted up the Superman Wannabe and headbutted him! The result involved Prime sky-rocketing back into the wall of the supermarket.

Darsh smiled. "Welp, thats taken care of." To celebrate, Darsh leaned down and picked up his apple. He opened wide and-

PEW!

A laser blitzed forward and vaporized the apple literally right before Darsh could snack on it. 

"YOU IDIOT! DID YOU THINK I'D DIE THAT EASILY, HUH?!" Prime yelled. 

Darsh didn't reply but looked at the ashes of the apple drifting through the airs. 

While he didn't realize it, Prime had made the biggest mistake of his entire life: Fucking with Dark Schneider's apple.

Suddenly, a massive, purple explosion of magical power exploded from where the Dark Messiah stood. Prime covered his eyes from the blast and was almost brought to his knees just from the power! 

When the blast cleared, a chunk of the supermarket was missing.

In its place was what looked like Super Saiyan 4 Goku in a goth phase. 

Majin Dark Schneider had appeared.

Majin Dark Schneider slowly walked up to Prime, giving no signs of any emotion but just pure bloodlust and hatred towards Prime. "What are you doing?! YOU THINK I'M THAT WEAK, HUH?! NO MORE PLAYING AROUND, YOU NEED TO DIE!" Prime screamed and dashed forward. Before he could even think however...

Darsh raised his fist casually, flipped him around, grabbed his arm and punched him so hard that Prime's arm was ripped right out of its socket! The Wannabe Superhero was so confused. He couldn't process what had just happened. "...w-...w-what...?! ...you... how...?!"

Darsh spoke in a downright demonic voice as he pointed a single finger at Prime's leg. 

"Venom."

A wave of bacteria flew out of Darsh' pinky and fell onto Prime's leg. The result? The bacteria chewed through his flesh, slowly ripping through it. "AHHHHH! OHMYGOD, STOP, NO! AHHH-" 

It finally ripped all the way through and Prime's left leg fell off. Now, the Whiny Superhero only had one arm and one leg.

He began crawling away as puddles of blood, organs and bits of bone leaked onto the floor. He turned to see that Darsh was easily advancing on him. "No... I'm sor-sorry! It was just an apple!" 

For the first time since the transformation occurred, Darsh showed some emotion as he raised a brow.

"...just an apple...?"

Prime looked into Darsh' eyes and nearly took a dump in his pants. The Dark Messiah's eyes showed no mercy. No love. No happiness. 

Just pure. Undeniable. HATRED.

"YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" 

Darsh flipped over his body and began slamming onto his chest. "THAT WAS NO ORDINARY APPLE! THAT APPLE WAS THE SAME APPLE THAT WAS TOUCHED BY MY AMAZING FUCKING HANDS! MY VERY WET HANDS!" 

Darsh continued his stomping, slowly ripping through his chest. 

"JUST A FUCKING APPLE YOU SAY?! YOU FOOL! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WANTED TO FIGHT FOR IT!" 

With another raging stomp, he smashed right through his chest and saw it. All of Prime's organs. 

"VENOM."

Another spray of bacteria flew down as Prime began shaking, trying to move. He screamed in horror as he watched the bacteria slowly fall into his stomach. "NONONONONONO-"

The bacteria munched away at his liver, gnawed away his lungs, ate away his kidney, chewed through some bones... 

But the one thing that did remain? His heart. Darsh wasn't done just yet.

The Dark Messiah grabbed Prime by his head and lifted him up. He looked into his eyes... and smiled. 

"Welp, kid, were going to Disneyland!" 

"R-r-really?!"

"HAHA NO." 

Darsh waved his hand and suddenly, a portal opened. Prime turned his head and stared in horror. Through the portal, he could see dark-red rocks, lakes of lava, demonic creatures left and right...

Hell. 

It was hell. 

Darsh slammed Prime against the ground and grabbed onto his leg. He began walking towards the portal as Prime began pounding his fists. "NOOOOOOOOOO, OH MY GOD, I'M SORRY! HELP! HEEEEEELP! HEEEEEEEELP-" 

"Shut the fuck up!" Darsh said, lifting Prime over his shoulders. He began twirling Prime around like a cowboy twirling a rope and then tossed Prime forward! 

"AHHHHHHHHHH-"

Silence. Prime was thrown right through the portal. 

Darsh stared forward, satisfied with his victory... before he grabbed a nearby apple and took a bite out of it. "Well, I guess thats taken care of." He said, leaving the market that was now covered in blood, organs, bones and had a ton of collateral damage.

K.O.!

--

THIS MELEE'S WINNER IS...

DARK SCHNEIDER

--

Epilogue, Hell

Prime's eyes widened as he looked around. He was feeling very heated and was sweating... he looked up and saw...

Satan...

Prime punched forward-

Only for Satan to casually grab his punch and look down at him. He smiled like an absolute madman.

"So, boy, are you ready for an eternity of torture?"

As Satan began to laugh, tears dripped from Prime's eyes. This was it. The end of the line for him.

"N-n-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

One Minute Melee: Ruby Rose vs. Tracer

ONE MINUTE MELEE!

WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN 60 SECONDS!

TWO FIGHTERS!

NO RESEARCH!

MELEE!

--

Overwatch Museum 

"Wooooooooooooow!" An excited little girl with a red cape, short-red hair and a skirt said as she stared at all the museum exhibits.

"All these cool weapons, Yang, look!" Ruby said as she blitzed around the museum.

Ruby blitzed forward but then came to a halt at what she saw sitting on a bench. It was a battle-armored gorilla with glasses. "WOAAAAAAAAH! Yang, can we keep him!" Ruby said, pointing to Winston.

Ruby stopped for a second. "Oh... yeah... gotta wait... heh..." 

Suddenly, Yang appeared but she was far different. Her hair was ripped out and her entire arm was replaced with a mechanical one. Her teeth were now replaced with denturnes and she was sitting in a wheel-chair. This was from her encounter with that "Luther Strode" fellow. She still had her blank stare from that night that was only a month ago.

"Yang, look a gorilla!" Ruby said, pointing at Winston. Yang used her text to talk device to speak. "WOW RUBY. THATS REALLY COOL." It said in a robotic voice. The gorilla kept reading its newspaper and then went to adjust its glasses- 

However, he didn't adjust them that well and the result was them falling onto the floor. 

"BUT RUBY, WE CAN'T KEEP A GORILLA. LETS MOVE ON." Yang's text to talk device said. 

"Aww..." Ruby said. 

Yang turned her wheel chair and accidentally ran over Winston's glasses while moving away... and Winston's eyes turned a violent red. He roared, stood up and punched Yang directly off of her wheelchair! Yang fell on her back as Winston got on top of her. He began punching her face over and over.

"Sis!" Ruby yelled.

Rose began punching Winston, over and over but it was no use. The gorilla would not stop punching Yang in her face. Soon, Winston punched Yang until her skull began showing. "Stop hitting my sister!" Ruby yelled. On the final blow, Yang's head exploded outward violently, bloody bits and brain pulp flying everywhere.

Winston stood up and roared furiously.

Ruby Rose fell to her knees and stared at her now headless sister.

"...sis...?"

Yang - since her head was blown the fuck off - didn't respond.

Tears dripped out of the young Huntress' eyes but then she narrowed them and stared at Winston.

"You... YOU TOOK HER FROM ME!" Ruby yelled as she pulled out Crescent Rose, her scythe.

Suddenly, a blue flash appeared before Ruby's eyes. When she saw what had appeared before her, it was a cute girl with brown hair, orange goggles and a brown uniform. 

This was Tracer. 

"Alright, big guy!" Tracer said, pulling out a new pair of glasses. "Take these and calm down! I'll handle Red right here so she doesn't kill ya!" 

Tracer turned around and pulled out both of her guns and pointed them at Ruby while the young Huntress merely pointed her scythe at Tracer. 

LET'S GO!
FIGHT!

Ruby fired a round from her scythe but in a flash of blue, Tracer, blitzed right around it. Rose kept firing but Tracer kept dodging. 
 
Eventually, Tracer was right next to Ruby, leaned in close and said... 
 
"Missed me!" 
 
Ruby swiftly turned and fired in Tracer's direction but again, the Merc had dodged it. Ruby looked around... 
 
BAM! 
 
Suddenly, she felt her back shatter. She was sent flying forward. She turned... and saw Tracer...'s foot smash into her face. The Mercenary then sweeped Ruby off of her feet. She lifted her foot and stomped down but the Huntress rolled away just barely in time. 
 
Ruby jumped up and smashed her scythe into the ground. She span around the scythe like a stripper and dropkicked Tracer in the chest. Tracer was sent flying but quickly, in a flash of blue, went back to standing. 

Tracer pointed both of her guns at the young Huntress and began rapid-firing but Ruby was quick. She dashed quickly, avoiding all of the bullets. 
 
...but what she didn't avoid was Tracer blitzing forward and kicking her in the face. Rose stumbled back, clutching her aching face in pain. She was now dazed. Now was Tracer's chance! She lifted her foot- 
 
NO! Ruby thought as she jumped back and readied her Scythe gun. She shot forward and landed a direct hit on Tracer's chest! Surprisingly, blood didn't go flying. The Mercenary appeared to be superhuman. 
 
But was Tracer done? 
 
Of course not. 
 
In a flash of blue, she blitzed right next to Ruby, giggled and then kicked the scythe out of her hand! Ruby - now defenseless - couldn't do anything as Tracer kicked her directly in the chest. 
 
Ruby slowly stood up but now she was wobbling slowly. Tracer pointed both of her guns forward and blasted them. Two blue lasers flew forward... and hit Ruby in the head. 

It appeared Tracer had... overestimated this young girl's endurance. 
 
Ruby's head exploded violently as blood flew everywhere along with brain pulp. 
 
Tracer stared in shock... and all she had to say? 
 
"...oh... oops!" 
 

K.O.! 
 

-- 

THIS MELEE'S WINNER IS... 

TRACER

One Minute Melee: Darth Vader vs. Julius Rock

ONE MINUTE MELEE!

WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN 60 SECONDS!

TWO FIGHTERS!

NO RESEARCH!

MELEE!

--

New York

Today was no ordinary day in New York. 

A giant, flying spaceship had landed on the streets near Corleone High Junior High School. Out of it stepped...

The man with a black helmet, dark cape and dark armor. None other than the legendary villain himself, Darth Vader. 

About a week ago, Vader was here but he had left the planet as it was unworthy. However, while he was there, a man named Jerome had came up to the Sith Lord and said right to his face the following words: 
 
"Hey L'il dude from the stars above, lemme hold a dollar." 
 
Vader gave him the dollar, thinking Jerome would return it... he never did. 
 
Vader made his way down the street when he turned to see where he met Jerome. He wasn't there. What was there was a woman known as Rochelle who began to walk up to Darth Vader. 
 
"OH NONONONONNONONONO," Rochelle began. "SIR, I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO TAKE YOUR GIANT SPACESHIP AND PARK IT SOMEWHERE ELSE BECAUSE THAT IS BLOCKING OUR ROAD." 
 
Vader - now annoyed - merely pulled out his lightsaber. "Your complaints are insignificant to the power of the force." 
 
Rochelle sensed a fight coming. "OH HELL NO, I DON'T GOT TIME FOR THIS, MY MAN HAS TWO JOBS." 
 
Rochelle turned to her apartment and yelled, "JULIUS!"

The door to Rochelle's apartment opened up and out stepped a black man in a jumpsuit with a nametag saying 'Julius'. 
 
"Rochelle, what is it?" Julius asked as he made his way down the steps and turned to face his wife. Rochelle pointed at Darth Vader and said, "This tin man just parked his spaceship right on our street!" 
 
Julius turned to see the massive vehicle and said, "I don't see why this matters. I mean, just let the robot do what hes gotta do..." 
 
Vader was now irritated. With a motion of the force, Vader lifted a rock off of the ground and pushed it at Rochelle and Julius. Both of them ducked and the rock missed, shattering the Rock's apartment's window. Julius looked back at the broken window, baffled and then turned to face Vader. "Thats three-hundred dollars right down the drain!" He said. Now infuriated, Julius faced Vader as Rochelle walked back inside. As his wife walked inside, she said, "Have fun, honey!" 
 
The two fathers faced each other but only one would survive. 

DADDY'S HOME!
FIGHT! 

Vader made the first move. He dashed forward and slashed with his lightsaber. Much to his dismay, however, Julius was far quicker than he seemed and managed to duck underneath the slash. Julius stepped back away from the Sith Lord to get some distance...

He needed a weapon. Quickly, Julius reached down and pulled his belt out. Sure, his pants would fall more likely but it was a weapon nonetheless. 

Vader lunged forward and stabbed at Julius but Chris Rock's dad was not going to die just yet. With a motion of his hand, Julius made his belt wrap around Vader's lightsaber. He pulled with all his might and now, Julius Rock had a red, glowing lightsaber in one hand and a belt in the other.

He began twirling the belt and lightsaber until both were like helicopter blades. Vader needed to do something fast or this could get him in some deep shit. Thats when he remembered that he sort of had the ability to just move stuff with telekinesis.

Of course, this would work! 

Using his telekinesis, Vader pulled his blade right out of Julius' hand. "Hey man, now that just ain't fair!" Julius said. 

Vader's response? 

Simple. 

With a motion of the Force, Vader lifted Julius off of his feet and tossed him back into a fire hydrant. This resulted in the hydrant being broken and water shooting up into the skies above. Julius survived the impact and began to stand. He saw the broken hydrant and looked at it with disgust. "THAT'S ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS RIGHT DOWN THE DRAIN!" Mr. Rock ranted, despite now even owning said hydrant. 

"Costs are insignificant to the power of the dark side." Vader quipped as he then caused a ball of electricity to appear. Vader blasted the ball of electricity forward. It hit the plume of water and caused electricity to spray out everywhere! Julius' eyes widened in shock as the blast nailed him in the chest and caused him to fall onto his back. 

Mr. Rock slowly stood and rubbed his head... and then reached into his pockets. He pulled out his coins... which had all melted from the electricity. Julius looked back at Vader with nothing but rage. "...thats THIRTY SEVEN CENTS COMPLETELY WASTED!" He yelled. Julius dashed at Vader but the Sith Lord was ready. He used the Force to lift Julius-

It didn't do shit. Julius broke the power of the Force, blitzed forward and smashed his fist into Vader's helmet! To say that Anakin had the mother of all headaches would be an understatement. The Sith Lord stumbled back and clutched his skull. Could he possibly lose to this mere truck driver?! Impossible... 

Vader, however, didn't feel completely pathetic. With a quick twist of the Force, he threw Julius into the sky and with another boost of power from the Force, he sent Julius flying across the street! Julius landed on his back and moaned in pain. 

Julius slowly stood up and realized he needed more power to win this. Thats when he remembered what was in his pocket. He pulled out a bottle of Old Spice. 

Rock didn't want to have to use this but circumstances demanded it. He pulled the cap off of the bottle... and then... a massive flash of light blinded Vader. 

When the light vanished and revealed Julius' fate, he was no longer an ordinary man. 

Now... 

He was...

The Old Spice guy.

Vader channeled a massive amount of his Force powers into four electrical balls. "You underestimate me..." The Sith Lord said. With that, every ball of electricity was sent flying forward and bombarded Julius with them. The balls exploded, creating a large layer of smoke nobody could see through.

"You were impressive... but not impre-" Vader was interrupted by a sudden yelling.

"OLD SPICE IS SO GOOD THAT IT MAKES YOU IMMUNE TO ELECTRICITY!"

Julius blasted forward and kneed Vader in the stomach. If it weren't for his mask, Vader would have vomited his lunch all over the place. The Sith Lord was sent flying through the skies and landed on his back. He could barely stand. He looked around and noticed that Rock was nowhere to be found.

But he knew he was up to something...

But... what was it?

"THIS IS SIX-HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SIX DOLLARS GOING TO COMPLETE WASTE!!!"

Vader looked up and nearly took a dump in his mechanical pants from the shocking view. The sun was blocked out by Julius fucking Rock holding a delivery truck over his head and coming down onto him. Julius slammed the truck on top of Vader and began punching it over and over until he pulled back his fist and slammed into the truck so hard that it exploded.

As soon as the blast vanished, Vader was on his knees in the middle of a crater. His armor was broken, bits of it was scratched or even broken off and he couldn't stand up.

Julius began walking over to Vader. The Sith Lord lifted his hand and began applying the Force onto Rock... who didn't budge.

Vader stared in shock at this... man.

No, this was no ordinary man.

It was fear, manliness, greediness and courage all smashed into one powerful man.

Julius pulled out a box and grabbed Vader. He shoved the Sith Lord into the box and sealed it up. He taped it as well.

He tossed the box into the air, pulled back his foot and yelled...

"SPECIAL DELIVERY FOR DARTH SIDIOUS!" 
 
With that, he kicked the box and it was sent flying. It went into orbit in an instant and flew right into the Death Star. The collision resulted in the Death Star exploded. The blast echoed throughout the universe as Vader yelled...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

And that was the last of the great Sith Lord.

Julius put his hand on his hips and began to shake his head. "Thats 852,000,000,000,000,000 dollars completely wasted..."

Julius was suddenly consumed in a bright flash of light. Upon the light going away, Julius was back in his jumpsuit and no longer in his Old Spice form.

He turned to walk inside, completely ignoring the cries of help from someone...

Chris Rock was stuck underneath one of the broken pieces of the Death Star and tried to get out.

"DAD! DAD! WAIT, DAD! HELP!"

Julius didn't hear him and walked inside.

Everybody HaaaaAAAATTTTEEES CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIS...
 

K.O.! 

--

THIS MELEE'S WINNER IS...

JULIUS ROCK